Bramhall Rangers 4 Omatha 11

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." - Ron Atkinson


In the spring 2006 season the rangers were able to field the same team, or one alteration for about nine of the games in the season. This included a run of 7 games where 6 of them were the same team. This season has been a stark contrast and in the first six games not only have Rangers not had the same team for any consecutive games, they haven’t had the same team for any games! This is probably partly at fault for the disappointing start to the season. Mr T was in goal and the usuals Mini, Big Pete, Pie, Nev and Shiz were joined by Rangers stopgap Abrar, making his first appearance of the season to add some attacking flair. The warm up was thrown into chaos shortly before the kick-off as Big Pete in the latest in a long line of stupid attempts to injure a team-mate decided now was the perfect time to smash a shot right into Mr T’s nuts at some velocity. The pain was clear to see on Mr T’s face…an eye watering experience! The male equivalent of childbirth?

Omatha had a full squad and used power to intimidate the Rangers. A couple of early tackles by Henry were over the top to say the least and were lucky not to cause serious injury to both Pie and Abrar. Amusingly when he was pushed/shouldered back he threatened to “beat down on you number 3”, which made Mini chuckle.

Rangers fell behind, and were a couple down after some good finishing. Mr T seemed to have rubbed some life into his equipment and was playing well in the sticks. A goal was needed by Rangers and it came after a good exchange involving Abrar and Big Pete. Some well executed blocking off by Shiz enable Mini to curl the ball home with the outside of his right boot.

The usual problems existed for the Rangers, so I won’t dwell on them here. Omatha never ran away with the lead but looked quite comfortable throughout the first half. Mini, Big Pete and Abrar struggled to create space and shooting opportunities, and at times it seemed panicky in defence rather than the organisation we become used to.

Half time came and it was 4-1 or something similar. Rangers started the second half a little brighter and Big Pete was able to get his goal, 97 in total now for the blues. Mini also got a second after Abrar had a shot saved and Mini saw off Big Pete to lash home the rebound. Shiz was not having much luck in front of goal and both he and Pie were unable to convert chances after through balls from Mini. However, it was good running to get into the positions and certainly a big positive from the game.

Abrar continued to show why he is always welcome in the side with some excellent close control and skill. Big Pete was not intimidated by the strong arm tactics and gave as good s he got which was good to see. Nev also seemed to relish the physical side of the game and was putting himself about.

A collapse midway through the second half was what ultimately saw the game drift away from the Rangers. A spell where 3-4 goals were conceded cheaply in quick succession after team errors led to heads dropping. Abrar salvaged some pride with a good finish after Mini’s pass had been dummied by Big Pete and slotted home nicely.

In truth the Rangers didn’t look like winning, but the score line flattered Omatha slightly. Rangers will hope for better at their next meeting.

Final score - Rangers 4 Omatha 11
Goals: Mini (2), Big Pete (1), Abrar (1)

Nev goal watch - 33

"Rangers need All-Star assistance"

I got needs!

Using google and the simple phrases like "Mini needs", we can try to narrow down what it is that each Ranger needs to improve their performance on the football pitch.

Shiz needs to be like that...
Pie needs better slicing...
Mini needs a front row seat...
Belly needs some love, too!
Piggy needs a massage...
Nev needs some rebalancing...
Dr Holland needs access to data for animal health reasons...
Anton needs you to pray...
Mr T needs work...
Rascle needs a guy buddy, he's more feminine than my two girls...

Unfortunately Lifey and Hedderz dont appear to need anything. When in truth they both need a lesson in football!!:)

It would appear that Anton's needs hit closest to home in what is required for the Rangers. Belly's injury can be attributeds to a lack of TLC, Russ needs to come out of the closet to improve his game, Mini nees to watch not take part and Pie needs to improve his slicing technique (maybe a few shooting lessons from Rascle!).

And jinx baggsy no returns not massaging Piggy!
:)

Bramhall Rangers 6 Monkhouse Gladback 8

“In football you suffer and it’s not so bad to see your team suffer. We will need to play better and we will play better” – Sven Goran Eriksson

11 days is along time in football. Since the Rangers last played a match much has happened in the world of sport. In that time Ronaldo has eaten a sum total of 180 pies (rumours are that a certain Dr Holland is his new fitness guru), Michael Owen has discovered he is a distant relative of a Rascle McPherson after suffering his latest injury setback, Hen-mania is waining as for the first time in a long time no one cares about Tim’s whites being whiter than white, Peter Crouch has been given leave of the World Cup squad to pursue his love of being tall, and Sven “tried it and it didn’t work”. What “it” is, is entirely up to you, but rest assured it was a complete failure!

Rangers came together after the short break with Mr T in goal, Nev, Pie, Big Pete, Mini and Shiz returning to the side. Lifey made his first start of the season since netting twice in a 9-1 over Cheadle over 2 months ago. Monkhouse Gladbach was the opposition and despite being a beatable team Rangers had only managed to snatch a point in their 4 previous meetings.

The game didn’t start too well and Gladbach were able to nip into a two goal lead. The blues seemed lethargic and poor communication lead to the chances. A couple of subs changed the face of the game and Rangers were able to threaten more upfront. The Rangers started to trouble the keeper more in what was a very open game. Mini pulled a goal back for the Rangers, and Shiz also scored after the play seemed to have ground to a halt. Pie was lying on the floor and everyone seemed to wait for the whistle. Shiz ever alert stabbed the ball through the crowd for his 1st of the season.

Mr T was making some smashing saves in the sticks but was exposed far too easily by the defending. Shots were not closed down quick enough. Some strong tackles were being made though, Shiz feeling the brunt of a few and Lifey getting involved with a few niggling kicks. Mini was momentarily absent from the play as whilst making an excellent challenge he caught a flailing arm right on the conk! Bloodied and dazed he traipsed off the pitch for medical attention from a concerned looking Charlotte.

Nev was the pick of the defenders in the opening exchanges, and showed why he has been a permanent fixture in the team for the last 3 seasons. Making his 35th appearance for the Rangers he was marching up the appearances chart and one more game will see him in to 7th place, ahead of Rangers stalwarts Belly, Hedderz and Dr Holland. Sadly the goal scoring doesn’t match, still no goals in 32 games.

Half time came and (unsure of the score) it was 2 to the Rangers and a few more to Monkhouse. It hadn’t clicked for the side from Bramhall but they were still in the game. The second half would prove to be closer than expected. The spaces grew as the game progressed and this enables Big Pete to register after some battling play with a good finish. He had a goal harshly disallowed in the first half so made up for it in the second. The game two’d and fro’d and for every goal the Rangers scored so did Monkhouse. Lifey got a goal from, finishing coolly for his 9th for the Rangers, overtaking Rascle in the all time scorer’s chart! Lifey seemed to have trouble with Piggy-itus as on a couple of prolonged occasions though, and could be seen in the middle of the pitch tying his shoelaces as an attack formed around him! Amazing sight!

The pick of the goals came from Pie though, who seemingly with nowhere to go in the far left corner unearthed a magical drag back to fox the defender. Forced across the edge of the area he made a little room and finished expertly with a right footer, megging the keeper to boot! Fine football!

In a strange piece of play, a seemingly harmless long ball was drifting into the corner near Mr T’s goal, it was just out of the area for the keeper and Shiz was tracking back under no pressure to mop up the play. Mr T inexplicably grasped out of his area for the ball clutching it to his chest. It was a penalty as clear as Peter Crouch is tall! No arguments!

The striker placed the ball and with one step shot right footed down to Mr T’s right hand side. In a majestic show of determination to put right his wrong, Mr T saved the shot and scampered to gather the rebound. Great stuff!

Mini, bloodied tissue wedged in his nostrils, got his second after a compact one-two with Big Pete (pass and move the name of the game) for his 11th of the season. This, it turned out, was the equaliser to make the game 6-6, with 3 minutes to play. Had all the Rangers been aware of the score they may have altered their game for the last few minutes. Instead glaring gaps appeared at the back and Monkhouse were able to get two late goals to seal victory.

Final score – Bramhall Rangers 6 Monkhouse Gladbach 8
Goals: Mini (2), Pie (1), Shiz (1), Big Pete (1), Lifey (1)

Nev goal watch – 32
Lifey needs Velcro count - 1

Bramhall Rangers World First Exclusive

I have the honour of saying that I will achieve a world first for the Rangers next week. It is an honour I gladly accept and I'm sure the rest of the Rangers will also take great pride in the achievement also and share in my glory too. The event I'm talking about is of course to be recognised as the first Ranger to be driven from Wolverhampton to Cardiff by a Hungarian lady. It is with pride that I make this announcement an exclusive to the Bramhall Rangers blog, the first source for all things Rangers

ShiZ

Bramhall Rangers 3 Rapid Tirers 4

"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables

It has been touted as one of the great sporting events of 2006, and those who took part will not have been disappointed. Players from all around the globe, Bramhall, Stockport, Marple, Cheadle Hulme and Hazel Grove all descended on Powerleague for what would be a feast of football.

A few of the big hitters were missing, Shiz was left out of the squad for disciplinary reasons after a couple of Big Pete moments at the pre-match gathering at Markstock, and Rascle was on the treatment table nursing a hangover! Anton was a late addition to the squad to provide some Eastern European grit in his 3rd game for the Rangers. And in a surprise inclusion that stunned the football world more than Roger Milla’s gyrating hips at Italia ‘90 aged 38 or Maradona’s drug fuelled escapades at USA ’94 when a post-match dope test revealed a cocktail of five different substances, Dr Holland pulled on the Rangers shirt for the first time since autumn ‘05. Would either scenario be repeated? Mini, Pie, Big Pete, Nev and Mr T returning in goal made up a squad of seven in very warm conditions against League 6 newcomers Rapid Tirers.

As the whistle to start the game went, the atmosphere on the touchline (Charlotte) was amazing! Flags, painted faces, drums and dancing could not be seen and it was wonderful! The game was a low scoring affair, neither side wanting to make a mistake on such an important stage with the eyes of the world upon them. The temperature meant the game was slow paced but there were still a few good moves by both sides. Rapid looked well organised and comfortable of the ball, and called Mr T to make some good early saves. Big Pete who had shrugged off allegations of a ‘dentists chair’ incident was looking dishevelled but this seemed to spur him on. He and Mini linked up quite well and looked a threat.

Dr H, the elder statesman was not too mobile in front of Mr T and was happy to spread the play and find the easy passes. He allowed Nev, one behind Belly in the appearances chart, to be his legs and take on a Shiz-like role with roaming runs and hard tackling. Rapid did take the lead but Rangers were defending very well, tracking the runners and most importantly blocking shots. The conditions meant players were more inclined to have a pot shot from distance than run with the ball or play quick one-twos.

Rangers then grabbed two quick goals to take what over the course of the first 15 minutes was probably a deserved lead. Mini found himself free to side foot past the keeper, and then after chasing a lost cause was able to play an angled pass off the boards to Big Pete who had the easiest of finishes with the keeper committed. It was great reward after some great defending.

IIRC, the half ended 2-2. Rapid scored their final goal of the half after one of the few occasions that the shot was not closed down quick enough and the slightest of deflections was enough to see it past Mr T. Probably due to tiredness at the end of the half it was disappointing but not so much so that Rangers would not recover. Plenty of fluids were taken at half time, Dr H had some Carlsberg to finish and Big Pete was on the rum!

The second half was played out in the same way as the first, this time the sun was directly in Mr T’s eyes. Fortunately he had the forethought to bring a hat, and again was up to the challenge with some smashing reflex saves and recovery saves. Anton was trying to influence the game, mainly on the flanks. Seldom daring to venture forward it was unlikely he would double his tally for the Rangers, but he did get some strong tackles in where it counted and listened to the shouts well to cover the runners and fill in the gaps.

Pie was having a very strong game, and showed some good footwork. On a couple of occasions he seemed to have broken free of the defence but was halted by a last ditch challenge or just couldn’t get the ball out of his feet. However, in keeping with his excellent start to the season, Pie was able to get Rangers 3rd of the game. It was the equaliser after they had fallen behind in the second half and was well deserved. His 30th goal game for the Rangers in 66 games came slightly fortuitously, a left footer (?) taking a deflection to bounce over the despairing dive of the keeper.

A draw would probably have been the correct result for the game, as both sides had done enough to warrant a point. However, football can be a cruel game and it was to be thus for the Rangers. Like Baggio’s missed penalty in USA ’94, Beckham’s kick out in France ’98 and the more unfortunate Anders Escobar of Colombia in USA’94 who’s own goal against the USA saw him shot dead when returning home after the 2-1 defeat, mistakes can cost you dear. A lack of options on the edge of the area saw Pie pick pocketed by the Rapid attacker who finished past Mr T, for ultimately the winning goal. Rumours that Pie left Powerleague with an armoured guard were not confirmed, but it will have been an uncomfortable night for the Rangers most capped player.

Given the conditions, the patchwork squad and the preparation, it was an excellent performance by the Rangers, who can take great belief that Rapid are beatable next time round. A long break should see the Rangers refreshed for their next game a week on Thursday.

Final score: Bramhall Rangers 3 Rapid Tirers 4
Goals: Mini (1), Big Pete (1), Pie (1)

Nev goal watch - 31

Bramhall Rangers Exclusive!!

Less than an hour until kick off in this evening's rearranged game, and I have news that something totally unexpected will happen in the game that will rock the whole of the footballing world!!

More news, plus reaction and comment, to follow soon.

Bramhall Rangers 8 Cheadle Utd Thursday 6

"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." - Neville Southall

The season had not gone to plan so far for the Rangers. The key to last season, consistency in squad selection, had not been possible for the first two games and was no different this week. Against Cheadle Utd, the blues are normally confident of a win, but stripped down to the bear bones of a squad had their work cut out to maintain their unbeaten record (not including voided games) against Utd.

Keeperless due to Belly’s injury and Mr T being loaned to an academic team for the night, Mini went in the sticks for the first half and Pie the second. Rascle was absent with a sore toe/back twinge and all other possible replacements were not able to play due to the short notice. Dr H was even considered, but alas he was playing pool, about as much physical exertion he can manage these days! Shiz, Nev and Big Pete made the five.

It was five against seven in terms of squad size, and the temperature was high. Cheadle maybe sensed a potential upset and started the brightly. They took the lead after the Rangers couldn’t clear and the ball bobbled to the edge of the area to be slotted past Mini. Rangers were not down hearted by the early setback and through the first half relied on the goals of Big Pete to force the game. Showing some excellent distance shooting and scoring from the angles Big Pete got two to put the Rangers back in front. The lead exchanged hands during the half, neither side willing to push into the lead. Mini was left static with a shot in at the near post, but made a couple of good one-on-one saves.

At half time it was 4-4 (IIRC). Big Pete had collected all of the goals and was well on target to reach 100 goals for the Rangers. He ended this game on a total of 96 goals in 61 games. A couple of assists were made by Pie, but a lot of the hard work was done by Big Pete. Will the ton be reached on Sunday? As a unit the Rangers were working really well, Nev was the defensive player who mopped up in front of Mini and distributed out of defence. Pie worked the midfield and boards well and Big Pete was on hand for the striking options. Shiz, suffering with painful feet after much walking in Europe was up and down. The change at half time was to bring Mini outfield and Pie to take the gloves and garish keeper jersey.

This change was beneficial to the Rangers who were able to exploit the space up field to better effect. Cheadle give their opponents far too much time on the ball which puts them on the back foot every attack. However, CUT did take the lead again straight after the break, a couple of deflections sending the ball bouncing and spinning past Pie.

Mini took a while to get into his stride and missed several good chances. Pulling a few efforts wide or straight at the keeper it looked like it could be a frustrating day for the striker. There was encouragement in the link up play with Big Pete and Shiz though and some good passing and movement. Nev was growing in confidence and thriving off the extra space. It enabled him to pick his passes and also have the occasional attempt on goal. A few good connections worried the keeper but not the score. It is 30 games without a goal for Nev, a record not to be sniffed at!

The scores stayed similar again and in fact CUT took the lead again despite being pegged back after Mini had finally found the net after a couple of rebounds. With more discipline Utd could have seen the game out however they were too quick to throw men forward and ultimately this was their undoing. Mini equalised and then rapped up his hat trick, all goals coming similarly with good link up play and usually at the second or third attempt. It was 150 up for Mini, a great achievement!

7-6 ahead with minutes to go CUT were pushing all they had forward. They were unfortunate with a strike hitting the foot of the post. Pie made some unorthodox saves (when is a save ever simple for Pie?) and there was some wonderful defending from Nev to keep the lead. Big Pete lingered upfront for the counterattack and sealed the win when he finished smartly after a pinpoint through ball from Mini.

Considering the numbers and heat it was a never-say-die performance from the Rangers, who registered their first win of the season. The next game has been moved to Sunday 11th June so as not to clash with England v Trinidad, but falls the day after Martstock, which could prove problematic!

Final score: Bramhall Rangers 8 Cheadle Utd 6
Goals: Big Pete (5), Mini (3)

Nev goal watch - 30

Bramhall Rangers 5 Puss In Boots 15

"We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought..."

In Mini’s absence you have a match report from me today. Unfortunately I didn’t realise until after the game so I didn’t pay a great deal off attention to how goals were scored and conceded. I’ll battle on though.

This week’s opposition were the Puss-In-Boots. Games against them are usually good games, and I was looking forwarded to it. Unfortunately one of the Rangers strengths in recent games has been keeping a steady unchanged team from week to week, and apart from a couple of games where Anton came in as a replacement we have had the same match day squad for 9 games. This has led to a lot more consistency and generally more understanding between the players, meaning better performances and results.

This week however the Rangers had to break up the match day squad. Shiz, Fist and Anton were away on an Eastern European scouting mission and Russ was absent due to an anniversary. Add to this long term absentees Belch (who has a date for his knee operation and is anticipating being back in time for the start of next season, so the end of August) and Hedderz, as well as the usual back up of Lifey also being missing.

This meant that the Rangers had to call on some ringers to make a squad. Mini brought in a mate from work, James, who apparently had kick-boxed for England, and two guys, Andy and DJ, came in from the County message board. Both were members of a Thursday night league division 1 team, so optimism was fairly high. They joined the remaining regulars – Pie, Mini, Piggy and Nev. There was also a fairly large crowd of 4 Rangers fans with Charlotte, her mum and two sisters coming along to watch. I doubt they will be back though…!

The first half started brightly for the Rangers, and they raced in to a 2 goal lead. Mini taking both his goals well with two good finishes. It was at this point however things took a change for the worse. Marking and passing got a bit slack, and the Puss-In-Boots quickly replied with 3 goals to take the lead.During this time Mini developed an aversion to standing up, slipping over on numerous occasions, sometimes quite bizarrely while unchallenged, sometimes whilst he seemed to be just standing still!! I think some new boots are in order!

The half drew on and PIB grabbed a couple more goals, but it could have been more had it not been for Andy who had taken up the keeper’s role, and made some excellent saves.
At half time however Andy had picked up a hand injury, and swapped with DJ. This didn’t really change the course of the game – PIB got a couple of goals quickly after the restart.

The Rangers did grab some goals in the second half. Andy grabbed a great solo effort where he rounded 3 PIB players before firing into the back of the net. Pie got two goals too, for the first time in 37 games! For the last time there was a Pie double in a game you have to go all the way back to August 2005 in a game against Cheadle Utd! His first was slotted home, taking a slight deflection past the keeper. The second was an opportunist first time effort that he slotted past the keeper after Mini squared the ball.

That was about all there was to shout about for the Rangers, who conceded another few goals generally through poor marking. My player of the game this week goes to Nev, who played his usual consistent game full of determination while sporting some new bright blue and white boots!! He was unlucky not to score too when he was found free on the edge of the box, but it took an age for him to set himself and once he finally got the shot away a defender had managed to get back to block the effort. The goal watch continues…

A second defeat of the season for the Rangers then and overall a fairly poor performance. I think the major problem was having 3 new players in the team, however I would just like to thank James, Andy and DJ for coming along and making the numbers up. Certainly the Pigman took something from the game after chatting to James for a good 15 minutes after the game about various stretches!!

Hopefully next week with the regulars all back however, we can come back with a decent performance against Cheadle Utd.

Final score: Bramhall Rangers 5 Puss In Boots 15
Goals: Mini (2), Pie (2), Andy (1)

Nev goal watch - 29

Spring 2006 Season Awards

So another Awards Ceremony passed us by. A good turn out for this one, with all the regulars turning out for the actual awards. The meal took place at the Manjana Tapas Restaurant in Cheadle Hulme, which was different and quite nice, though it did take a while for the food to come and perhaps was a bit expensive for what we actually got. Never the less, it made a nice change from the usual curry/Chinese we go for.

We moved onto the Cheadle Hulme pub, where an award ceremony has taken place in the past. Mini was the organiser and presenter this time, and the results finished as follows…

Player of the Season

Mini won this award by pretty much a landslide, mainly for his goals which we have now come to expect. Shiz and Nev both also picked up a vote.

Voting: Mini (6 votes), Nev (1), Shiz (1)

Golden Boot

This was well known before the season had finished, with Mini once again collecting the award after scoring an impressive 36 goals. Second, by quite a way, was Piggy with 15, then an impressive 8 goals for former defender Shiz who made the successful transition into more of an all action midfielder.

Goals: Mini (36 goals), Piggy (15), Shiz (8), Pie (4), Lifey (2), Rascle (1), Anton (1)

Supporter of the Season

An award to Charlotte, who has braved the elements and at times some shocking football to come cheer on the Rangers in the majority of their games during the last season.

Sicknote

There was only ever going to be one winner for this award, and it went to the only player in the Rangers who has had to book some surgery to correct his injury - Belch! He might not have played, but we didn't forget him... Pie picked up two votes for his numerous knocks in games and Rascle who also seems to have a strain after every game!

Voting: Belch (5 votes), Pie (2), Rascle (1)

One Hit Wonder

Anton nearly scuppered his chances of winning his first ever award by making a second appearance for the Rangers in the same season as his first! However when he crashed home a goal to put us ahead against the Puss In Boots, he ensured that he would be taking the award home for his one goal. It was a landslide victory for Anton, with only all but one vote, which went to Mr T for his bizarre own goal when he scooped a seemingly innocent shot that was going wide into his own goal.

Voting: Anton (7 votes), Fist (1)

Coco the Clown

A tightly voted contest this one, 4 players received votes. Shiz got a vote for his stint in goal which included a bizarre and very lucky unorthodox save ending with him sitting on the ball straddling a post! Pie and Rascle came next with 2 votes each, Rascle’s votes more for his off-the-field shopping and personalised Nike football gear while Pie’s for his on pitch antics. However the winner of the Coco award was Piggy, who picked it up with 3 votes, mainly for the shoe-lace scandal that took place during a number of games in the season. Hopefully though he has taken this out of his game!

Voting: Piggy (3 votes), Pie (2), Rascle (2), Shiz (1)

Most Improved Player

Another tightly contested award. Shiz and Big Pete both took a vote each in this, Shiz for his transition to a more midfield and successful attacker, the Pigmeister for turning a generally poor start to the season around and “bringing home the bacon”! Next came Anton with 2 votes, who improved so much on past seasons he actually managed to make an appearance for the first time. However not to let this deter him he then played a second time and managed to cap this with a goal. Hopefully a lot more to come in the future. The winner however with 4 votes was Mr T, who brought consistency between the sticks with some confident and impressive displays. The first half of the season saw constantly changing keepers, an interesting statistic being that once Mark took up residency in the Ranger’s goal we conceded an average of a goal a game less! Belch had better watch out for the future!

Voting: Fist (4 votes), Anton (2), Shiz (1), Piggy (1)

The Anton Lowe Memorial Award

This special award is hugely coveted, bringing with it the responsibility of arranging the next award ceremony and meal as well as passing on the trophy.
Mini passed the award onto Shiz, his defining moment being his bizarre moment in goal where he straddled the post while sitting on the ball making a save. A moment, I am sure, we will never see the likes of again!

Congratulations everyone!
Russ took some photos, so hopefully they will appear on the web sometime soon.

See you all next time.