The key to a successful season, is a confident start…
And what a start it was to the new campaign for the Rangers. Hoping to put to bed the horrors of the last few months, in the first game of the winter fixtures against The Griswalds. It was like a car crash in slow motion, with Ian Dowie driving the car, and Peter Beardsley in the passenger seat. It really was that ugly! The Rangers were like a chicken trying to cross the A6 (eh Russ?), brave for giving it a go, but deluded in the thought that they could make it work!
Belly was still crying like a little girl in cotton panties in the corner, Dr H was blubbering like a baboon with a long term Achilles injury and Hedderz had an appointment with the underside of Elle’s thumb. So the line up was Mini, Pie, Rascle, Mr T, Shiz, Nev and again the only attacking player, Piggy. And the score line showed, the scorers for Bramhall taking a kip after about 5 minutes and never needing to wake up again.
Defensively in the first half it was another performance to be proud of. Tough tackling, good blocking and cutting out the shots meant that Mini was well protected. When called upon, he repeated the trick of last week, saving most thrown at him, again using his face as a great tool to deflect shots.
Despite this, attack wise it was disappointing. On another day Piggy could have had 4-5, but the shots this Thursday either lacked power or direction, or rebounded off their rotund keeper. Piggy did create a lot of opportunities for himself with selfish play, but maybe should have looked for a teammate with a better angle. It is good to see him taking on an attacking responsibility though and should be encouraged, as well as encouraging the virtues of teamwork. .
Not for the first time, the half time score was low, 1-0 in fact, as their striker lashed home after Rascle lost his footing on the edge of the box. Had it not been for that unlucky turn of events it would have been goalless. Still, the Rangers could be happy. If they could carry on defending well, and improve in the last third they would be able to snatch a couple of goals.
Mini was well aware of the Rangers tendency to crumble at the start of the second half, a lack or momentum or concentration could be the only explanations. So a quick team talk to explain we needed to try and “keep it tight for 5 minutes” should have done the trick. And it didn’t half work!! It didn’t quarter work! In fact, in terms of working it was about as useful as a chocolate foreskin.
Calamities in defence and a lack of tracking, laziness, loss of concentration and infighting again were the undoing as The Griswalds cruised into a 5-0 lead. Not once has the infighting, losing temper etc, been beneficial to the team and is so detrimental it is untrue. In fact it is very difficult to take seriously anymore. Some things are inevitable, but remember, wear sunscreen!
So, after a 5 minute blitz there was very little for Rangers to play for except pride and I think that went when Jesus rode in on his donkey! So the game was played out, with little much else happening. Pie sat down a couple of times for a rest, Rascle added to the injury woes with a relapse of his back injury, Mini contracted elephantitus of the testicles in saving a shot. However, the Griswalds, despite the 5-0 lead struggles to make much else count. They did grab a couple more to take in to 7-0. Rangers best chance of the game came as Mr T fired across the face of the goal, but that was as good as it got.
Still hung over from last season, maybe we will chalk this one down to experience. The awards for last season are tonight and should provide some light relief. Remember to dress smartly, shirt and shoes (and some pants too if you like, though personally I will be wearing nothing on the nether regions!). 7pm or just before at the John Millington, and we can relive the joys of our last campaigns. The highs and the Anton Lowe’s, the laughter and the tears, what went right (a very short section) and what went wrong (could spill over into Saturday).
In the words of Elton John: “Are you ready? Are you ready for love? Yes I am! Oh!”
Final Score: Bramhall Rangers 0 The Griswalds 7
Goals: Nil, zero, zilch, nothing, nought, nadda, Nein mein Fuhrer!!
